A relationship status Id never post in a thousand years on the blue and white screen of Facebook. Actually, I very eagerly did not fill in “relationship status” section when prompted. I don’t want people knowing how available
(or not) I am.
Last night I was watching This is where I leave you, a film worth redboxing with a side of Chinese food and a glass of wine. The main character played by Jason Bateman claims he doesn’t do complicated. However, when unexpected things take place in his life, life becomes exactly what he strove for it not to be. A complicated mess. With this epiphany seeping into his soul, he realizes that it is just the reality of life. There are complications all around but it is how we respond to those that either frees us or causes us to create our own prisons.
This resonates with me. I was in a committed relationship for two years and I thought it was complicated, but it wasn’t…it was just hard. The complications that did arise were things to be fixed and worked out. Solve the problem.
Now I take a deep breath in and admit this life in the here-and-now is a bit complicated. Relationship status, community, work, what I desire: It’s complicated. So instead of being thrown into a whirlwind of anxiety, how about just having a cup of coffee and breathing it out. Things are rarely neat and tidy so why try to force it? Why not be honest with where I am, and then let things roll as they roll. Sure there is a time and place for analyzing and decision making. But why so often are you and I premature about doing those things? Live a little in the mess. Hurrying to make a decision sometimes robs us of the richness exploring the present can bring. Transformation is often birthed out of the exploration.
Someone in my life is an addict. He has been since he was a little boy. Recently he found himself back in the hospital. After going to visit him, I was baffled to see how what he was hungry for was honesty and realness. He didn’t want to have to explain how he got where he was. He didn’t want pity. He didn’t want someone to get him out of the hole he was in. He just wanted to tell his story. His life right now is complicated. But it’s his story, his journey. And in so many ways he cannot escape the complicated right now. He has to remain in it for a bit. In the messiness he has met people he would never have met before, a music producer, a affluent magazine editor, and so on. In the messiness he is still alive. I know this is a bit extreme. But we don’t expect an addict to just quit. We expect the journey. And the journey isn’t simple.
What about us? Can we truly be freed in the midst of life’s complications? I think it will be one of the most liberating experiences for our soul.
So have a cup of coffee. Settle in the complicated and don’t allow it to take you over. And now…what do you see?